Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Writer's Voice Contest

I'm so excited to participate in the Writer's Voice Contest! Thanks to Cupid, Brenda, Monica and Krista for hosting this amazing opportunity. And please...pick me! Pick me!

Query:


With just three days left before she’s Remade on her seventeenth birthday, Nine must choose a name, a Trade, what she wants to look like, and most importantly—whether to be male or female.

Nine’s certain her Maker made a mistake when he gave her red hair and an overabundance of freckles, so unlike the flawless light skin and dark brown hair of the others in her Batch. As if that weren’t enough, Nine despises her cowardice and wishes to be brave like her best friend, Theron. Since there’s no courage option when being Remade, Nine chooses the next best thing, to become male.

After leaving the Freedom province, and on their way to the Remake facility, the Batch’s shuttle crashes into the ocean. Nine is the only survivor and struggles to understand the bronze-skinned people who find her stranded on their island. Kai, the boy assigned to keep watch over her, treats her like a prisoner and Nine wants nothing more than to return home and be Remade.

As Nine learns the meaning of words like marriage and family, she realizes the threat Freedom poses to Kai and his people. Nine must learn to become brave, as a girl, if she hopes to protect their way of life and return to Freedom in time to be Remade, if that is what she still wants.

Set in a world of gender selection and the absence of family, REMAKE is a YA dystopian complete at 67,000 words. Fans of Scott Westerfeld’s UGLIES would sympathize with Nine’s struggle to be herself in an equalizing society. 


First 250:


Male or female?
My finger hesitates over the touch screen, unsure.
How can I decide which to be for the rest of my life? It’s so…permanent.
Theron puts his hand on the small of my back in encouragement. I glance at his blue eyes beneath long lashes. His dark eyebrows are longer than the hair on his head. I smile, knowing what little there is of it will be shaved off in a few minutes.
He returns my smile and rubs my own shaved head. Our lack of hair keeps those in our Batch equal—both the boys like Theron and the girls like me. Except the stubble that grows from my head is red while everyone else’s is dark brown. The Maker that designed me must’ve had a sick sense of humor.
Theron tilts his head toward the computer, reminding me why I’m there. I push my shoulders back and focus on the screen again.
Male or female?
My finger connects with the third option.
Undecided.
 “You know, Nine,” Theron says. “In three days, you won’t have that option anymore.”
“I know,” I say. “I’ll be ready.” In three days we will turn seventeen and be sent to the Remake facility. There we’ll be made into whomever we choose to be. Blonde or brunette. Tall or short. Full lips, broad shoulders, slender thighs, dark skin, tiny waist—whatever we wish. But the computer will not prompt me to decide anything else until I make that first choice: male or female?


35 comments:

Kathryn Purdie said...

You know how much I love this, Ilima, and how I worship the ground you walk on! Good luck with this contest. May numbers #2 and #103 be chosen! :-)

Leigh Caroline said...

Oooh I like the sound of this one! Good luck!!

Suzi said...

This really sounds fascinating. Good luck.

Ashley Maker said...

Wow, this looks amazing! I've never read anything like it, that's for sure. Really enjoyed reading your entry. Best of luck! :-)

Kelley Lynn said...

Go Ilima! This sounds awesome :)

Shiela Calderón Blankemeier said...

Great job, Ilima! I really enjoyed reading this - you are a very talented writer. I hope you get picked!

A. K. Fotinos-Hoyer said...

Congrats on getting into Round 1 and best of luck!! :D

T. Drecker said...

I like the idea the first time I saw the query. And now that I get to read the first words - Good job!
(and Good luck!)

Robin said...

Great idea Ilima. Your 1st 250 are really good. I would definately read more.

Kyra Lennon said...

I absolutely love your first 250! Beautifully written and very intriguing!

Danielle B. said...

I was looking at the list and got all excited when I saw a couple of familiar names on the list. Congrats on making it in and good luck!

jaybird said...

You are so amazing Ilima! I am really invested in this after reading your first 250. Great job!

Snowmen Write said...

This book sounds amazing! Good luck in the contest from #15.

Martin Willoughby said...

This is a briiliant idea, but don't rule out adults liking this one.

Anne Pfeffer said...
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Anne Pfeffer said...

Interesting concept -- that we can have the choice to remake ourselves according to our own specifications. Can these people give themselves high metabolism rates?

Good luck in the competition!
Anne (#102)

Fiona said...

I really loved this, Ilima! I thought your plot synopsis was really clear, and I loved the opening. It sets the tone for the rest of the story, and more than anything, it makes me want to read more - and that's what any beginning should make me want to do, right? Great work!

Carrie-Anne said...

This sounds like a really interesting, original concept. Good luck on the contest!

Becca C. said...

This is a fantastic concept and a great hook. Good luck in the contest!

AllieS said...

What an awesome hook for your query! And I don't normally like when a story starts with a question, but in your case it works. Good luck!

-Allie S #137

Laurie Muench said...

How intriguing! You grabbed my attention with the first sentence, and kept me to the end. I would definitely read further.
#120 Laurie Muench

April Wall said...

Definitely an interesting concept! Good luck in the contest! -April, #61

SC Author said...
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SC Author said...

Wow, your first sentences were amazing! A touch screen, to decide whether to be male or female? That was amazing. I want to know more about this world, and how it works. Great job, and good luck :)

SC (#159)

Matthew MacNish said...

Hi Ilima, I'm visiting your blog from the Writer's Voice Contest, and I wanted to wish you the best of luck! I'm also now your newest follower, so: nice to meet you!

Betsy said...

Your first 250 pulled me in for sure. This is awesome. Wishing you the best - #197

Carrie Butler said...

Whoa! What a creative concept. :D Best of luck, Ilima!

Melodie Wright said...

Ooh. I love how you're taking the masculine idea of bravery and turning it on its head. Your query really hints at exploring this idea and hopefully raising the question - what IS bravery? how do you show it? How do you know you are brave? These kind of themes are SO great in YA.
And your first 250 is intriguing, to wait so long before choosing gender. Good luck!!!

Nicole Zoltack said...

Love the premise. Who wouldn't want to read a story about a girl learning how to be brave? I know I would! Good luck!

~Nicole, entry 68

KrysteyBelle said...

This sounds intriguing. I can only imagine the strange concoctions people would come up with, getting to choose what they look like. Good luck!

Krystalyn #87

Jessica Lee Parsons said...

Can't wait to read this someday!

Carolyn Abiad said...

Best of luck!
Carolyn, #157

C.G.Ayling said...

Hi Ilima, what a spectacular name, I’m tempted to to use it for one of the female characters I introduce in the second book in my series! Anyway your query is insane! (as in crazy like a fox…) I love it! What a delightful concept and premise. This is extremely thoughtful stuff. I’m going to go out on a limb here and congratulate you, you deserve a place on a team, assuming you don’t already have one. Good job, and good luck! (btw, in my world gender plays no role in class – though there are slightly fewer female warriors than male. I know I don’t need to say this – but cowardice doesn’t pick a particular sex.)

Krista Van Dolzer said...
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Krista Van Dolzer said...

Just wanted to circle back around here and let you know that your entry was on my short short list. To be honest, your query completely drew me in; you presented your main character and plotline so well.

The only reason I didn't seriously consider selecting you for my team was that I have a personal quibble with the premise--sex, male or female, is just one of those things that I think of as set, predetermined. But I wish you the very best of luck with REMAKE. You're obviously a talented writer.