|That's me rocking the panel with Valynne Maetani, |
Courtney Alameda, and Marion Jensen.
Author Mette Harrison hosts these retreats about once a month. Contact her if you're interested and she'll give you more info. on pricing and schedule. You can't beat a private critique session with a visiting editor/agent in addition to a great day of writerly classes. (And the location!)
Our panel was about breaking into the publishing industry, and I think it was a success. Our scheduled one hour morphed into two-and-a-half as the questions kept coming, and I enjoyed every minute of it. One topic brought up was about what we regret in our experience so far in our publishing journey, and for the first time, I voiced something I've kept quiet about until then...
I wish I never started writing.
I know. Possibly the worst thing to say at a writer event, but on most days, it's true. I started writing in 2010 as a bucket list item to check off. But once that writing fire was lit, I couldn't keep it under control and it spread. If I had known what this writing life would be like, I don't know that I would have started. Because it's hard. So so hard. There are oh so many ups to balance those downs, but all that movement can make you kind of dizzy too.
I've been more emotionally unstable, anxious, stressed, depressed, impatient, and frustrated in the last few years than I've ever been before, and the insecurity I feel has only increased the longer I do this--it's like the more I learn what good writing is, the more I realize my writing needs A LOT of improvement. My house is a mess, I don't get enough sleep, my family eats a whole lot of cold cereal and pizza, and I don't have time to volunteer for so many worthy causes I wish I could. Life would be SO much easier if I wasn't a writer.
I've tried to quit. Really, I have. But writing is like a drug. I'm fine at first, but then I start to have withdrawal symptoms--anxiety, insomnia, restlessness. I can't concentrate on normal everyday things and feel depressed and cranky all time. And none of it goes away until I get that next fix: fingers on the keyboard, playing with the characters and stories in my head.
Do you love being a writer? Think you could quit? Any writer regrets?
I get to see this band live tonight along with Paramore and New Politics. I can't wait!
My songs know what you did in the dark...