Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Feeling like a fluke

This summer I'll be on a panel at the Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers (WIFYR) conference in Sandy, Utah. It's my first ever 'teaching' position at a writing conference and I'm super excited and nervous at the same time. This conference has a special place in my heart. It's the first writing conference I ever attended (back in 2011), and in addition to playing a vital role in my growth as a writer, it's where I met my critique partners aka cheerleaders extraordinaire aka best friends in the whole world. I can't recommend it highly enough to those who write for children...from picture books to YA. The morning workshops are invaluable and this year features another rock-star line up of best-selling authors, editors, and agents. Early bird pricing ends soon, and you can check out all the lovely details about the conference here.

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Here's the thing. Sometimes I feel like this whole getting published thing is a fluke. Any day now my editor or agent is going to call me and say they made a HUGE mistake signing me. And my writing might be okay but it's no longer good enough. I'm no longer good enough. Sorry. Ba-bye. There's the door. And if I'm a total fluke, what business do I have teaching other hopeful writers. Ugh. I wish I could remember that I write for the joy of writing and not for the approval of others. How do you cope with these insecurities, because I have a feeling they'll never go away, will they?

Why does it seem so hard?


17 comments:

Suzanne Furness said...

I'm sure it's not going to happen Ilima but I can understand how 'unreal' it must feel sometimes. Enjoy sharing your knowledge with others, I for one love hearing the stories of published writers.

Sheena-kay Graham said...

By telling yourself if you see this happening that you are clearly having a nightmare and your brain needs to calm down. But seriously Ilima you deserve your success and nothing is jumping out the 'jealous closet' to steal it from you. Good luck with the panel.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

LOL I'm waiting for the same call from my agent and publisher. I wonder if there's anyone who doesn't feel that way????

Michelle D. Argyle said...

I have always felt this way, unfortunately. It seems to be a normal feeling amongst the creative lot of us! Even now that I have no publisher to call me up and tell me ba-bye, it still manifests itself in other ways ... like I'm just finding ways to prove to myself that I'm not good enough. It's a hard road, but I know you can manage it! You ARE good enough, and you're going to succeed, and best of all, you deserve it. :)

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

I've been trying really hard to ignore the 'getting published was just a fluke and will never happen again' voice in my head. Lol. You'll do great at the conference! It's not a fluke, and you have plenty to teach those newbies looking to learn. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You're going to do great on that panel!
I still feel I'm a fluke, so I don't think it ever goes away.

Donna K. Weaver said...

I feel ya, girl! I felt so bummed and then I got a new Amazon statement that was like 10 times what the previous one had been. All right, then! :D

ReflectionsbyCindy said...

I'm not there yet. I don't have anything published, but other types of insecurities still pop up around me.
I think if you got that assignment is because you deserve it, and others believe in you. Let that belief carry you and give you strength in your abilities.

http://lucindawhitney.com/

Charity Bradford said...

This is an insecurity that you can only dispel by writing the next book. Then doing it again. And again, and again. :)

You can do that! As long as you keep working hard and learning, you are perfectly qualified to share what you're learning with others. Good luck and enjoy the conference!

Diane Burton said...

Insecurity, thy name is writer. :) Keep writing. Nothing sells your first book like your 2nd, 3rd, etc. Good luck!

Angela Cothran said...

I've never heard of WIFYR. Do they really charge separately for each class?

Patricia Lynne said...

I can't recall something like that ever happening to another writer and I'm sure you won't be the first. Keep your chin up and use this group for support to help you weather these feelings. They will pass.

Johanna Garth said...

I REALLY don't think that's going to happen, but I understand the feeling. Every time I send any professional in the writing industry an email I feel like I have to be witty, clear, concise and perfect otherwise the secret that I'm not quite good enough, to make it in this business might get out. ;)

Nicole said...

I think the imaginings of teaching at the conference will be worse than the teaching itself. ;) You'll do great, and the next one will make you feel like an old pro!

Jessie Humphries said...

I believe in you, girl!

Emily said...

You are not a fluke. And I agree, met the best people in the world at that conference.

Tammy Theriault said...

remember...success is the feelings you have...not the physical things you can grasp! love ya girl. rice & Disney make the world go round.