Today I am participating in the What If? Fairytale Madness Blogfest. Participants are to post a 300-word flash fiction piece of an altered fairytale. You must change either part of the plot, a love story, a tragedy, or add some comic relief. The bloghop is going on all week, go here to enter.
I decided to do a plot twist, and because I am utterly uncreative, I'm recycling an old idea I had that is a twist on Sleeping Beauty. Forgive me if you've seen me post another version of this during A to Z in April. It was hard dwindling it down to 300 words, but I hope you enjoy:
The first thing I
feel are lips so forceful, they cover all of my mouth and I think my breath is
being stolen from me. But then I feel air flow in, not out. And I realize the lips
are trying to give me life, not take it.
I sit up and gasp. I’m
in a hard plastic bed with a hinged cover that reminds me of a coffin.
A man shakes his
head. I know, just by the shape of his lips, he is the one with the life-giving
kiss. “You’re alive,” he whispers.
“Where am I?” My
voice is dry, cracked.
“Moab,” he says,
rifling through a bag on his shoulder. “Utah.”
The words mean
nothing to me. My head is fuzzy and I struggle to remember how I got here.
“I’m Phil,” he
says, handing over a clear bottle filled with water.
I drink greedily,
letting too much of it spill onto my clothes.
“I was hiking
through the canyon.” Phil steps toward me, then back again, unsure. “I found
this room hidden in the rock.”
I press my hands to
my temples, trying to remember something. My family. Danger. A curse.
“I saw you through
the plastic,” he continues. “Breathing and peaceful and…” Phil rubs the back of
his neck. “When I opened the cover you stopped breathing and I didn’t know what
to do, so I—”
I touch my mouth
and remember his lips on mine.
“I’m so glad you’re
alive.” Phil gestures to more plastic beds in the room. “Do you know who these
people are?”
I turn and see a
brother, sister, mother, father. It is my family.
I read a digital
clock strapped to my ankle. 100:00:00:05:36. I’ve been asleep in this cryogenic
chamber for a hundred years.
“What’s your name?”
Phil asks, finally daring to step close to me.
“Aurora,” I say.
“But my friends—and those who save my life—call me Rory.”
Phil smiles.
"Nice to meet you, Rory."
35 comments:
I hadn't seen your other version. But now I'm wondering if him waking her is a bad thing!
love this future twist! nicely done!
Prince Phillip lives in Utah? Sweet! I really like this twist. Great job, girl :D
Interesting take on it. I like the use of cryogenics.
I love this twist and I love that she ends up in Utah :)
I truly enjoyed your dialogue! What a fun read this was. :)
*grins*
This is awesome! LOL. I love how he finds her in Moab! Totally cool. Very brilliant story! Thanks for participating!
How cool is this? I'd love to see it pan out. :D
Oh, I remember this from your A to Z! I love it!!! You need to add this on your long list of things to write someday. I'd love to see the full version of this awesome take on Sleeping Beauty. :-)
LOL I laughed at the mention of Moab, Utah! And this is a great twist! I did Sleeping Beauty too, very fun! Loved your entry!! :D
Great twist! And I have to know, why Moab, Utah? :)
Moab? I love Moab! Great twist.
That's a bit cute! :D Loves it.
I love the modern touch! I had thought of doing something with CPR and sleeping beauty, but couldn't get it in the word count. Bravo!
I think you're creative! That's such a clever story. I love that she's in a cryogenic chamber. :)
This was extremely creative. Don't sell yourself short. My Entry
Really well done!
Love the modernization... that was awesome :)
Thanks for participating :)
Super fun Ilima. I enjoyed it this time around too. You have such great humor:)
In a plastic chamber in Moab? Sounds HOT! (Phil sounds HOT as well)
Fun read. I have left you a tag for the 8 Ball Meme at my blog if you are interested.
"The first thing I feel are lips so forceful, they cover all of my mouth and I think my breath is being stolen from me. But then I feel air flow in, not out. And I realize the lips are trying to give me life, not take it."
LOVE THIS!!!
This would make a good book, intriguing concept
Cool twists!
That's fantastic! I love the cryogenic chamber idea, and the language really sings. Well done!
Love it. Love Phil too. Well done.
Very interesting premise and twist... Nicely done.
Phil just doesn't know what he stumbled upon. I would love see where this leads!
I agree with Dani.
I wanted to keep reading!
Great excerpt!
This is so awesome :D I'll admit that I chuckled a little when he said "Utah." I was kind of thrown off a bit (job well done on the plot twist) and I was just kind like "Wait...Utah?!"
Fantastic job!
Wonder if there would be a happy ending to this. Great futuristic twist. Cryogenics... makes sense!
Awesome story! Makes me want more.
Great twist and futuristic...Enjoyable dialogue.
Moab!!! Awesome.
Bravo! A futuristic twist. I like it!
Great twist. I'd love to know how the whole family got there and I can't imagine what it would be like to wake up 100 years from now. Great twist.
A2Z Mommy and What’s In Between
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