Monday, August 13, 2012

What If? Fairytale Madness Blogfest


Today I am participating in the What If? Fairytale Madness Blogfest. Participants are to post a 300-word flash fiction piece of an altered fairytale. You must change either part of the plot, a love story, a tragedy, or add some comic relief. The bloghop is going on all week, go here to enter.

I decided to do a plot twist, and because I am utterly uncreative, I'm recycling an old idea I had that is a twist on Sleeping Beauty. Forgive me if you've seen me post another version of this during A to Z in April. It was hard dwindling it down to 300 words, but I hope you enjoy:



The first thing I feel are lips so forceful, they cover all of my mouth and I think my breath is being stolen from me. But then I feel air flow in, not out. And I realize the lips are trying to give me life, not take it.

I sit up and gasp. I’m in a hard plastic bed with a hinged cover that reminds me of a coffin.

A man shakes his head. I know, just by the shape of his lips, he is the one with the life-giving kiss. “You’re alive,” he whispers.

“Where am I?” My voice is dry, cracked.

“Moab,” he says, rifling through a bag on his shoulder. “Utah.”

The words mean nothing to me. My head is fuzzy and I struggle to remember how I got here.

“I’m Phil,” he says, handing over a clear bottle filled with water.

I drink greedily, letting too much of it spill onto my clothes.

“I was hiking through the canyon.” Phil steps toward me, then back again, unsure. “I found this room hidden in the rock.”

I press my hands to my temples, trying to remember something. My family. Danger. A curse.

“I saw you through the plastic,” he continues. “Breathing and peaceful and…” Phil rubs the back of his neck. “When I opened the cover you stopped breathing and I didn’t know what to do, so I—”

I touch my mouth and remember his lips on mine.

“I’m so glad you’re alive.” Phil gestures to more plastic beds in the room. “Do you know who these people are?”

I turn and see a brother, sister, mother, father. It is my family.

I read a digital clock strapped to my ankle. 100:00:00:05:36. I’ve been asleep in this cryogenic chamber for a hundred years.

“What’s your name?” Phil asks, finally daring to step close to me.

“Aurora,” I say. “But my friends—and those who save my life—call me Rory.”

Phil smiles. "Nice to meet you, Rory."

35 comments:

Suzi said...

I hadn't seen your other version. But now I'm wondering if him waking her is a bad thing!

Tara Tyler said...

love this future twist! nicely done!

Cassie Mae said...

Prince Phillip lives in Utah? Sweet! I really like this twist. Great job, girl :D

Connie B. Dowell said...

Interesting take on it. I like the use of cryogenics.

J. A. Bennett said...

I love this twist and I love that she ends up in Utah :)

D. D. Falvo said...

I truly enjoyed your dialogue! What a fun read this was. :)

Leigh Covington said...

*grins*
This is awesome! LOL. I love how he finds her in Moab! Totally cool. Very brilliant story! Thanks for participating!

Carrie Butler said...

How cool is this? I'd love to see it pan out. :D

Kathryn Purdie said...

Oh, I remember this from your A to Z! I love it!!! You need to add this on your long list of things to write someday. I'd love to see the full version of this awesome take on Sleeping Beauty. :-)

Cortney Pearson said...

LOL I laughed at the mention of Moab, Utah! And this is a great twist! I did Sleeping Beauty too, very fun! Loved your entry!! :D

Emily R. King said...

Great twist! And I have to know, why Moab, Utah? :)

Jamie McHenry said...

Moab? I love Moab! Great twist.

Bonnee Crawford said...

That's a bit cute! :D Loves it.

JennaQuentin said...

I love the modern touch! I had thought of doing something with CPR and sleeping beauty, but couldn't get it in the word count. Bravo!

Lara Schiffbauer said...

I think you're creative! That's such a clever story. I love that she's in a cryogenic chamber. :)

Sheena-kay Graham said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sheena-kay Graham said...

This was extremely creative. Don't sell yourself short. My Entry

Mark Koopmans said...

Really well done!

Love the modernization... that was awesome :)

Thanks for participating :)

Robin said...

Super fun Ilima. I enjoyed it this time around too. You have such great humor:)

Small Town Shelly Brown said...

In a plastic chamber in Moab? Sounds HOT! (Phil sounds HOT as well)

Suzanne Furness said...

Fun read. I have left you a tag for the 8 Ball Meme at my blog if you are interested.

Elizabeth Seckman said...

"The first thing I feel are lips so forceful, they cover all of my mouth and I think my breath is being stolen from me. But then I feel air flow in, not out. And I realize the lips are trying to give me life, not take it."

LOVE THIS!!!
This would make a good book, intriguing concept

Hope Roberson said...

Cool twists!

Nicole said...

That's fantastic! I love the cryogenic chamber idea, and the language really sings. Well done!

Mina Burrows said...

Love it. Love Phil too. Well done.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Very interesting premise and twist... Nicely done.

Danielle B. said...

Phil just doesn't know what he stumbled upon. I would love see where this leads!

Jackie said...

I agree with Dani.
I wanted to keep reading!
Great excerpt!

Samantha said...

This is so awesome :D I'll admit that I chuckled a little when he said "Utah." I was kind of thrown off a bit (job well done on the plot twist) and I was just kind like "Wait...Utah?!"

Fantastic job!

Nick Wilford said...

Wonder if there would be a happy ending to this. Great futuristic twist. Cryogenics... makes sense!

Rose Munevar said...

Awesome story! Makes me want more.

Rek said...

Great twist and futuristic...Enjoyable dialogue.

Tasha Seegmiller said...

Moab!!! Awesome.

Madeleine Maddocks said...

Bravo! A futuristic twist. I like it!

Tracy Bermeo (A2Z Mommy) said...

Great twist. I'd love to know how the whole family got there and I can't imagine what it would be like to wake up 100 years from now. Great twist.
A2Z Mommy and What’s In Between