Oh yeah, baby!

I can do hard things

When I was 14 years old I was diagnosed with severe scoliosis and had to have surgery right away. After being implanted with two metal rods running the entire length of my realigned back, I learned how to swallow handfuls of pills in one shot and was bedridden to a hospital bed for three months in my home, unable to walk, sit up, shower, use the bathroom, etc. without assistance. From that experience, I learned I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

When I was 16 years old, having fully recovered from my surgery, I got this crazy notion that I wanted to run a marathon. I trained for months with a very strict (and boring/lonely) regimen, including one dreadful 18-miler on a treadmill because it was pouring outside (not recommended :). I went on to finish the Honolulu Marathon in 1993 the day before I turned 17 and learned that I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

Due to spinal complications from my back surgery, I am unable to get an epidural when giving birth (believe me, I tried...a 23 hour labor will make you try anything). With diabetic complications, three of my four children were induced. Despite the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth of four very hard deliveries, I learned I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

I have had several surgeries in my life (including removal of a breast tumor), completed triathlons, earned a BA in Physics, learned what it means to live off of the local food bank, survived a tornado, moved 11 times in the same amount of years, homeschool four amazing children and have even written 2 books. I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

When I read my post last week about how wonderful and amazing nanowrimo was going for me, I nearly peed my pants. I once thought, hey, I've written 2 books, nano will be a breeze. A walk in the park. A piece of cake. But today, I would like to mirror the words of one of my critique partners:

I. DON'T. KNOW. WHAT. I'M. DOING.

THE HONEYMOON IS OVER.

THIS SUCKS.

PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

No, you are not the only one. And yes people--this is really hard. I'm plowing through, but I think I'm shaving years off my life in the process. My type A personality is having a hard time not editing as I go (I just don't have time for it right now). I hear chanting in my head all day, "Your writing sucks, your writing sucks." I know the story will be great, but right now it is not so great. It will definitely be a rewrite as opposed to a revise.

BUT, if there is anything I can take away from this post, it is that I CAN DO HARD THINGS. And guess what, I am and will continue to do it! Boo-yah!

A Stephenie Meyer Moment

So last night while plugging away at my nano I got really really excited. Because as much as I might plan and outline and THINK I have the whole story mapped out in my mind, my characters or setting or even plot surprise me with new twists. This happens all the time in writing and is one of the reasons writing is so enjoyable. But last night I was clobbered with an idea that took a very traditional concept (in Hawaiian mythology) and turned it on its head. Guys, its so cool!

It's like how Stephenie Meyer decided vampires didn't have to have fangs, or sizzle from crosses or holy water. And how they can come out into the sun...sparkling. I know Hawaiian mythology isn't as well known as vampire folklore, but STILL--it makes me so excited to feel like I'm inventing something no one had even considered before, and it's absolutely thrilling.

After finishing my word count and some, I talked my husbands ears off in the garage while he worked on his hummer. (Payback for silently listening to all his search and rescue stories)

Him-You're going to have to...

Me-I know.

Him-And what about...

Me-I did this and this...

Him-Wow. That is cool.

So yeah, you could say I'm excited to get going on my nano today. I can't wait to find out what's going to happen next.

One of my CP's just wrote about finding joy in writing here.

So what keeps you motivated?